Should you take back a cheater?

What do you do if you find out he/she cheated?

I think this is one of the hardest questions to ask in any relationship. Many people decide to walk away, others to work things out. Many are swayed by kids, financial depency as well as emotional, and love. If you find yourself in a situation where your spouse cheated, then you must ask yourself the question, why did he cheat? And if you can forgive and forget? Below I list top reasons why he might have cheated, and whether or not you should consider forgiving. 

1. He/She Feels Neglected Often times people cheat because they feel neglected or unwanted. Because of hectic lifestyles, we tend to forget about the other persons feelings and only take in our own into consideration. We take for granted those people we love the most and in turn they seek out affection, attention, and love. If they dont get it at home, then they will find it elsewhere. If neglect was a reason, then maybe forgiveness is in order. 
2. He/She Did it Out of Vengeance If your partner did it to get back at you, then whose to say he won't do it again? It could be just an excuse for his cheating behavior. Either way having sex out of spite is not something that is mature of a person let alone a relationship. Whether you had an argument or cheated on your spouse, vengeance is never the answer. It will only taint and wilt the bonds further. If you cannot resolve your marital problems yourself, then there is nothing nor anyone who can mend your relationship. If you decide to work things out, then make sure this wont be a reocurrence or a pretext for future cheating.
3. You don't give him/her sex This kind of goes along with neglected but in a more physical sense. If you're married then you have no excuse for not giving your partner sex. Yes, men are "horn dogs" and yes we work, yes we have to take care of the children, yes we have to take care of the house chores, yes we have to cook dinner, but you also have to take care of your spouse. Women are built differently than men physically AND emotionally. Women connect emotionally while men connect physically. You cutting sex equates to him cutting the cuddling. I hear a lot of women complain about men being so sexual and how they think giving them sex once a month suffices. Well let me break it to you...it doesnt. Im not an overly sexual/emotional needy female but I empathize for men. Why? Well heres why... My husband has his flaws, yes but he tries to make me happy. He puts up with my mood swings, takes me lunch when I forget to take mine, helps around the house, helps me cook, goes grocery shopping for me, and gives me money whenever Im running low on funds. Im not saying my husband is perfect, hes far from that, but he attempts to make me happy. Giving him a moments pleasure (all that last but a few minutes) isnt going to kill you. If he tries to make me happy then why cant I? Think about it...
4. He/She is a natural born cheater People like this should stay away from marriages or relationships and so should you! If you like getting hurt or contracting STDs then by all means go for it. People like this honestly, disgust me. They are manipulative, narcissistic, selfish, and some are even abusive. All they do is hurt the other person without giving a care in the world. If you have the possibility to walk away, then do it. People like this never change and your setting yourself up for failure. Dont think you can change him.
5. He/She is insecure If your partner is insecure and cheats on you for "ego boost". Leave while you still can. Otherwise he will only hurt you and the end result will be false accusations, stalking, questioning, and doubt all this coming from him! You dont need the drama. No amount of women will quench his thirst and will only fill his doubt for you. Accusations of infidelity will be at your receiving end. 
6. You allow it I believe in second chances given some circumstances but if you give him a pass the first time, don't do it again. If you do then it's your fault for allowing him to cheat on you. You're giving him a whole life supply of "get out of jail" cards, a cure to Kryptonite. You're choice.
7. He/She couldn't keep their junk in their pants Unfortunately in this world they're men and women who do not care for your relationship. In fact some are bent on trying to destroy it. While the faithful and wise person will say NO to a sexual advance, idiots will say YES. Idiots? Yes, because you risk losing everything for nothing. For a man who loves his wife, family, and life, why fall into the tempations of a harlot? And why should a devoted wife forgive a man who has no self control over his sexual prowess? 
8. He/She is not attracted to you anymore This falls under the following subcategories: #1 he cheated because he's not attracted to your body anymore. I know married men and women who love their spouses during the course of their life together. They've experienced weight gain and mommy beauty marks and their spouses do not love them any less. Cheating because you gained a couple pounds after the baby is no excuse for a heating man. If you eant to lose weight, then do so for your happiness, not theirs. #2 he is not attracted to your personality. "You nag too much", "you're too bitchy", "you make him feel less of a man", "you are obcene", or "you are vulgar", all possible reasons why he lost his attraction towards you. Finding the root of the problem is imperative. Listen to his remarks about your behavior and talk about it in a civil manner. Dont push him away with your behavior. You might lament it.  #3 He is not attracted to your level of confidence anymore. Confidence is beautiful. No matter if your attractive or not, if you're fat, skinny, old, young, short, tall...CONFIDENCE is the most attractive thing and a smile is contagious. When you lose that part of you, you lose your mojo. Men are attracted to women who exude confidence and who don a smile. They like independence and confidence, even if they dont admit it. Being insecure and needy will only push him away. Keeping him on his toes with confidence, will only bring him closer to you.
9. He/She doesn't love you anymore or didn't love you If that's the case then you need to move on to someone who will appreciate you. Why devote your life to someone who will never commit to you? You shouldnt stay with someone who will never give you what you need in the relationship. Keep your dignity and walk away. That special someone is waiting for you somewhere. Dont ruin your chances by sticking around.